Summer, 2001

<ming'mèd>Issue 1</ming'mèd>

vision

Magazine of the Non-Monastic Traditions of Buddhism

contents

romance

source

countless

hiss

real

proof

waking

cowboy

turtle

scotty

drool

rudra

girl

crazy

mascara

pilgrims

espresso

The Pool of Drool

by Ngakpa Namgyal Rangdröl Ga-tak Dorje, 18 February 1998.

Ha - waiting for `The Job' to appear before me
beckon me forward, offer me unspoken ecstasies
carnal-career angel-delight bandstand bridal-wear behemoth behind translucent curtain of softly woven stainless steel
playing waiting game; being coy; playing hard to get - but I wan'it I wan'it
I wan'it
can't wait, won't wait, gotta have it now
gimme the job! gimme
the goddamn job! I'm the best I can't be beat! gimme the job and I'll show
you that I'm the best
hungry; no - starving
desperate emaciated fool sat salivating, drowning in drool
sweating blood, crying blood out of fire-brand eye-sockets
I'm burning up - must consume everything: eat-eat-eat!
gotta have that job
gotta have chocolate cake, the grilled owl, the leather leotard, the stuffed antelope, the iron cross, the batman utility belt, the silk underwear, the strawberry plantation in Arkansas, the brace of phosphor bronze LeMats, the pan-seared octopus, the 9 storey pizza - I'll eat the lot! I'll own the world! . . . and - Hang on, 'new neurosis' coming soon!
I don't want anyone to see `little ego-empire' - gotta hide it in case they steal it with their laughter
with their upraised eyebrows
No, too obvious . . . Yes, I can see them! I've spotted them!
they'll steal my glory from me: with their `careful politeness'; with their `honest looks'; with their `interested remarks'
they'll offer support so that I'll allow them to dig beneath my defences
then, while I'm not looking. . .
No - while I am looking (cunning bastards) they'll whip those supports out from under meI'll splash back into my frothing pool of drool with: no job; no cake; no girl; no grilled owl; no leather leotard; no silk underwear; no strawberry plantation in Arkansas; no brace of LeMats; no pan-seared octopus; no 9 storey pizza - not even a goddamn shopping trolley.

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